Finding the light in dark situations

I always felt safe working on an ambulance. As a student, and as a newly qualified paramedic (NQP) it was my ‘happy place’. Every time I laced up my boots and stepped into that cab ready to start my shift, it was somewhere I felt in control, that I associated with kindness, laughter, healing, and education. All of that light, and positivity dissipated in an instant, however, and was instead replaced by fear, anxiety, and helplessness, as my crewmate and I were violently, and brutally assaulted by an individual whom we were only trying to help.

In the weeks, and months that followed I struggled greatly with my mental health, my own self-worth, and questioning if this truly was the career for me. I wondered what others thought of me, and if I did stay, would I have to accept such violence and abuse as ‘a part of the job’? Or an occupational hazard that would require a greater level of ‘resilience’ to overcome?