Rewind, revamp

What are the factors that make up your identity? How much of who you are is determined by your family, your friends, your heritage, your profession—and what other people perceive you to be?

In a thought-provoking TED^x talk by one of our very own columnists, Mahdiyah Bandali talks about deconstructing cultural constructs and her experience as a ‘hijab-wearing paramedic’. She delves into the social psychology concept of the ‘looking glass self’ coined by Charles Horton Cooley to explain how many of us develop our sense of identity based on our perception and internalisation of what others see when they look at us and what they appear to think about us.

When we think of ourselves a certain way or assign a particular trait to ourselves, but then realise that people are responding to us as if we are the opposite, we begin to question whether we really carry the trait we thought we did. In fact, we may even revise the way we are, not to align more deeply with who we feel we are inside, but with the information we have received from others about who they think we are. This may be an effort to match up our internal and external worlds so we feel aligned, in integrity and whole—rather than having to handle what can feel like multiple identities, which can leave us feeling divided. It can also be an effort to ‘fit in’ rather than ‘ruffle feathers’, as was often the case for Mahdiyah's family, who felt lucky to come to England from east Africa and did not want to draw any negative attention.