I struggled to write this final student column for the year, as I could not find a single topic I felt passionate enough to write about. With all of my previous columns, I had a clear vision—this time, it seems as though my brain is hibernating. I have started and deleted several attempts with little progress and, even while writing this, I still had no clear idea of where it was leading.
All that seems to be running through my head is that these 2 years have been the toughest but best years of my life. The barrage of OSCEs, assignments, viva voces, presentations and the never-ending list of clinical competencies, have often left me feeling physically and mentally exhausted. But through the stress and the sleepless nights, I have achieved more than I could have hoped for. I have assisted with the delivery of three babies in a midwifery-led unit—an experience I will never forget. I was part of the team which enabled a young child with a subarachnoid haemorrhage to be in surgery within 3 hours of the initial injury. I have maintained a difficult airway during a traumatic cardiac arrest after a significant road traffic accident. I have also given my first major trauma handover and successfully did not cry.
But alongside these experiences, I have made countless safeguarding referrals for vulnerable adults and children who are struggling on a daily basis. I spent an afternoon looking after two young children and a 3-month-old baby after their mother had taken an overdose. I had to explain to a family that their loved one was dying. I comforted a 2-year-old child who had been abused for the majority of his short life. I have made numerous cups of tea for family members suffering the bereavement of their mother/grandfather/sister/uncle. I assisted a midwife during my first ever delivery with a neonatal resuscitation. I cried myself to sleep after a girl my age told me about the abuse she was suffering and how nothing could be done to stop it.
I think it is easier now to understand why I struggled to pinpoint one particular topic from everything that has happened within these 2 years. The lives we impact on a daily basis may at times seem small to us but, to those people, how we act could be all that they remember.
Being a student paramedic does not mean you are sheltered from the bad; we are in the thick of it like any other. I learned early on that it is easy to hide behind our humour when the list of patients who impact our lives can often build without even realising it. Although I did not know it at the start, this column has allowed me to reflect on some of the bad, but also some of the good, experiences I have gained while being a student paramedic.