I am definitely a reflector. However, when reflective practice was first introduced to me at university, it did not initially come naturally and I struggled with it. As time has gone on though, I find reflective practice to be a cathartic and positive experience.
I wanted to be a paramedic to make a difference and that remains my biggest motivator. If I can do everything that I can within my scope of practice and to the best of my ability for my patients, I will be happy. But that doesn't stop me thinking after the event, ‘what else could I have done?’, and ‘would that have changed things?‘. I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I could have done something differently and often realise that patient outcomes would be no different
I find using Rolfe's reflective model useful to facilitate my reflections, though not every reflection is formal and written down. Often a quick thought on ‘what?’, ‘so what?’ and ‘now what?’ is enough to satisfy my reflective curiosity.
When I think back to my training at university, we used to run scenarios that were, in hindsight, a bit ridiculous, with some of the unluckiest people as patients at the centre of the disaster. Thinking back on these simulations, they gave me the exposure to approach more realistic scenarios with confidence. Thinking about some of the jobs I have been to recently, my training and subsequent reflective practice have helped me do all that I can within my scope of practice for these patients. The nature of our training—and, arguably, our travel time to a job—helps us to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Pulling on previous knowledge and experience helps focus my mind to be able to deal with whatever I am presented with.
I can still vividly remember my first job as a qualified paramedic. I felt totally out of my depth and was very anxious en route. If I was to receive that exact job again now, 16 months later, would I feel any different? I would probably have the same initial thoughts, but I have built on my knowledge and experience to examine and treat the patient appropriately with a few less prompts! Having a little buzz of adrenaline on the way to a job is good; challenging your own thoughts on what you will do when you get there is positive and being prepared for the worst is essential.
I am aware that everybody works towards the same goal slightly differently. Working with different paramedics during the first phase of my NQP has helped me to build up my own ways of working while appreciating the knowledge and experience of others. Reflecting on how other people work has given me the confidence to build up my own ways of working. Our ultimate goal is to help people and I can go home happy after a shift if I have done that. My constant reflection helps me to deal with those trickier jobs and clear my head, knowing that I did everything I could and perhaps adds to my CPD. Sometimes I ask for others' opinions on scenarios as well. While I appreciate that it is difficult for colleagues to provide possible answers to scenarios they were not present for, it can be useful to chat things through and discuss other potential options so I can take advantage of their knowledge and experience.
I will continue to reflect on cases and put any learning into practice while striving to be the best I can be. Who knew that after all those reflective essays at university, I would become an advocate for reflective practice?