My first year as a newly qualified paramedic is complete and it was certainly not without its highs and lows. So much has changed since my first day and it was not until I sat down to write this column that I realised quite how much. First things first, I hate change—or rather, I always hated change—but working for the ambulance service makes you more resilient as you either learn to accept change and move on or try and fight it.
I remember my first day on the road as a paramedic as if it was yesterday—the overwhelming nervous fear will forever be engrained in my mind but (as I remember writing in my first column), the fear was replaced with excitement as I truly felt at home within my team. The next few months sailed by without a hitch. I could see myself continuously developing as my confidence grew daily and all with my regular crew mate by my side. I truly could not have asked for a better crew mate; we were a real team and there was never a dull moment. Work became my second home and it felt as though everything had fallen into place. I could not believe how lucky I had been.
This was all until a big announcement came out 6-months from my first day that there were to be some big changes. Did I mention that I hated change? I was so settled and thriving within my team, I never expected anything to change and felt confident that nothing would—I was wrong. We received the news that several people were to be moving teams and I would be one of them. That overwhelming fear came back with a vengeance and hit me like a brick wall. I had to start all over again. This was a huge low point for me. I was so angry, bitter and resentful that after a week of dealing with all these emotions, I was close to breaking point. I knew I had two choices: accept that this change was nothing personal and move on, or continue to believe that the universe hated me and lose a fight I could not win.
For my own sanity and that of my other half and family, I knew what I needed to do: accept the change and move on. Little did I know though, that this would not be the only big change. A month or so later, after all the chaos had subsided and we all forgot about the impending doom, my crew mate decided to drop the bombshell that he was leaving the ambulance service! I was absolutely gutted; the team would never be the same without him. But then it began to feel like everything was happening for a reason. I could now see the move as a complete fresh start; I was not leaving behind my crew mate, as he was instead leaving me! Maybe the universe did not hate me after all.
I have now been with my new team for just under a month and, looking back, I realise that I had no reason to fear the change. Though there can never be another crew mate like the one I started with, a fresh start is exactly what I needed. This career can be so unpredictable, so fear needs to be looked in the face and change embraced.